The bad side of a Good God?

The bad side of a Good God?

What? Yes, this is something that has bothered me for a while. Here are some of the things I have learned about the bad side of a good God.

I never really thought of GOD as fatherly more really stern and mean, and rules all the time. I remember many messages my father preached and the way he vocalized the gospel. This, of course, was his viewpoint of the gospel, and that was alright. I remember a lot of anger, and vengeance, and spit flying and intense staring. This perplexed me a lot. I watched my Daddy closely; you see, I was the older male child. The heir to the throne. The Prince in Pentecostalism. It was up to me to carry on the tradition. I could do no wrong, but I did mess up some. I remember one time a spitball went off course, and it missed my dad, and ole lord, I knew my butt was grass. That message more and more become more for me. I actually went to the altar first, hoping it would not be as bad, but it was a great butt spanking. I heard a lot of messages. I listened to some well-learned men preach. I remember mostly the anger, the judgments, and the terrifying stories about going to hell. These scared me; demons were real in every sense. I learned a lot about fear. This was something ingrained in me so deep it has taken years to overcome. I never heard about the love of God. I didn’t hear about his goodness. I heard miracle stories; I heard stories of past miracles. Yet still, no message that really made me feel good about this “God” we were serving. I mean, I was going to be a minister; I had to know this. I began to suspect that this was all about control. My parents used religion as a form of control. It has taken me years to figure this out, and we will explore this deeply in the weeks that follow.

This never hearing anything good bothered me deeply. Why couldn’t I remember good messages or even messages that were happy?

Growing up in a church home, I learned a lot about people. I heard a lot about how people could “sin.” I never heard things about what people did, just being good. It was straightforward. People that failed God had sin. But didn’t everyone “sin”? Maybe they had secret “sins”. Perhaps they were cheating on their wives; maybe the wife was cheating on the husband. I always wondered why didn’t anybody ever try to do good. Life was hard people tried hard, and people sinned. I knew this. I also heard that you wouldn’t sin if you prayed enough and read the Bible a lot. I heard a lot about temptations and sin, nothing about anything good. I mean, it seemed to be an impossible task making this God happy. Did I hear any messages about education and being a better person? Nope! So I searched in my memory banks, even more, hoping to find something out this. I frankly didn’t remember any messages about good. I remember that it was good to obey, not question and dare not touch thy anointed. I remembered all that but still no good messages.

In all reality, I had loved a good God in a bad way. God was merciful; he was just and was a good God, but I had learned to love a God in a bad way. I do not serve this God; I have come to know a Good God in an amazing way. I know that God judges. I know that he protects. I understand and have experienced a GOD that is just and fair.

I have seen and heard this GOOD GOD. It has been in the middle of the night; it has been on the ride of a lifetime. He has comforted me when I was in tears. It has healed some of my my wounds.


 I know a Good GOD and its bad side.